Andy Huggins talks about being a comedian on Clown, Interrupted with KiKi Maroon

August 29, 2018

#1 Andy Huggins – Comedy

Hi! Welcome to the first episode of Clown Interrupted. I’m KiKi Maroon. This is a new project. It’s going to change, its going to grown, and I have to be honest, I don’t know exactly what it is yet  . Here’s the bullet points. 

-I’m a standup comic, burlesque clown, and special events producer. 

-I stopped drinking around 3 years ago. I say “around ” because I don’t have the exact date. I tried to quit so many times before, I just kind of assumed I would fail again and didn’t bother marking the date. 

-Living and working in three different scenes, all of which revolve around drinking, made me unaware that not drinking was even an option. Sooooo I lived in a black out. 

-I’ve got a lot of stories, some of which I even remember. The most traumatic being flipping a truck in a ditch, almost dying, spending the night jail, then losing my job, house, fiancé, and freedom.  

So, even though that was years ago, I’m still trying to piece together- WHAT the FUCK. Clear headed for the first time in my life, I’m now asking “how did I become a stripping clown with a breathalyzer?!” That was not the plan! That was officially never the plan!

So this podcast is two fold. 

First: to figure out my story and how to tell it, because I still don’t understand it.  

And second: to talk to other comedians, writers, dancers, musicians, and people who live in “party scenes”, but don’t drink. I want to share their stories. Because even if you’re not a stripping clown, rock bottom stories are usually great.

There is nobody more perfect for me to talk to for the first episode than Andy Huggins. Andy is a legendary stand up comic, based in Houston. He was a member of the Texas Outlaw Comics in the 80s. It was him, Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Ron Shock, you know, people who could fucking drink. He’s been sober 30 years now. Andy was the first sober person I ever met, and the only one I knew for years. He’s more important to me than he knows. 

Episode #1 Andy Huggins- Comedy

The Clown, Interrupted theme song is graciously provided by The Last Domino. You can listen to or purchase the full song HERE.


Full Transcript:

KiKi Maroon: Hi. Welcome to the first episode of Clown, Interrupted. I’m KiKi Maroon. This is a new project and it’s going to change, it’s going to grow. And I have to be honest – I don’t know exactly what it is yet. Here are the bullet points: I’m a stand-up comic, burlesque clown, and special events producer. I stopped drinking around three years ago. I say “around” because I don’t have an exact date. 

I tried to quit so many times before, I just kind of assumed it would all fall apart again. And I didn’t bother marking the date, but I know…ish. It was about three years. I live and work in three scenes – the comedy, the burlesque scene, and special events – all of which revolve around drinking, which made me unaware that not drinking was even an option. So I lived in a blackout, like you do.

I’ve got a lot of stories, some of which I even remember. The most traumatic being – flipping a truck in the ditch, almost dying, spending the night in jail, then losing my job, house, fiancé, and freedom. 

Even though that was years ago, I’m still trying to piece together – “What the fuck?!” Clear-headed for the first time in my life, I’m now asking- “How did I become a stripping clown with a breathalyzer?!” That was not the plan, that was officially never the plan. 

So this podcast is two-fold. One, to figure out my story and how to tell it, because I still don’t really understand it. And two, to talk to other comedians, writers, dancers, musicians, and people who live in, “party scenes,” but don’t drink, and share their stories too. Because let’s face it – even if you’re not a stripping clown, rock bottom stories are usually great.

There’s nobody more perfect for me to talk to on the first episode than Andy Huggins. Andy is a legendary stand-up comic based out of Houston, Texas. He was a member of the Texas Outlaw Comics in the eighties. It was him, Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Ron Shock – you know, people who could fucking drink. But besides being an amazing comic, he’s also the first sober person I ever met. And the only one that I knew for years! So even though we were just acquaintances at first, he was the one that got all of the questions about like, “hey, what’s this not drinking thing you’re doing? What’s that all about?”

Unrelated, he was on “America’s Got Talent” the week before we recorded this. So the first bit is about that. We talk about that, him going to AA meetings with Bill Hicks (which is crazy!), getting too drunk to hang out with Ray Charles, and weird dreams about drinking. We recorded this in a restaurant, so please excuse the iced tea sounds. I hope you like it. Here’s me and Andy.

——————

Andy Huggins: After I do my last joke, they cut to the judges’ table and you see the three of them. Heidi (Klum) is smiling and Howie (Mandel) is clapping and applauding. And Mel B had a genuinely puzzled look on her face. So I don’t…

KiKi Maroon: Wooow. Like, “how do you get through?”

Andy Huggins: Yeah, you know. I’m thinking that she probably didn’t get some of the jokes and they just played it up. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. Oh, okay. That makes sense.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Get played up a little bit just to add a little bit of whatever to it. But as you know, I’m sure we’ve talked about before, I love rooms like Rudyard’s. Those small, intimate… those are my favorite rooms. But, I was thinking 3,000 people every once in a while, that wouldn’t be bad! 

KiKi Maroon: Haha yeah!

Andy Huggins: Yeah, every once in a while, 3,000 people, that’s not too shabby… 

KiKi Maroon: I’m starting to love those rooms. I understand the idea that it’s… you know, the intimacy that you’re connecting with people. Because I started in the burlesque shows where everything was really big, grand, over the top, I got used to- even when hosting- just being more of a character. I was really animated. So when I would then go to tiny room,s when I was first starting and hitting open mics, they looked at me like, “What the fuck is she doing?!” It was terrifying to me. But that’s the only way I knew how to be on a mic. 

Andy Huggins: Haha yeah.

KiKi Maroon: I only knew how to be really loud! “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THIS?!” And it was kind of scary to them. I get it.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. It may be easier to go from a small to big, than it is to go from big to small. 

KiKi Maroon: It took me probably a year and a half at least. And I remember our friend Barry used to always tell me, “Can you just talk like you? KiKi is interesting.” And I’m like, “I AM TALKING LIKE ME?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!”  Iit was very difficult for me. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah, you see that kind of bad habit picked up at bar gigs that are real noisy.  

KiKi Maroon: Ohh, the aggressiveness, maybe? 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I remember telling a comic one time we were in a nice room and he was the opening emcee and I told him, “Hey look, this is not a bar gig.” 

KiKi Maroon: You don’t have to yell at them! 

Andy Huggins: You don’t have to be so aggressive in your delivery. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, I didn’t think about that.

Andy Huggins: You got different venues. Different venues require different approaches. 

KiKi Maroon: That makes sense. Yeah, like I said, I’m learning now. I’ve been doing more storytelling, which I love. I love it so much. And so that is a little bit easier because it’s like, for me, because I’m not afraid of the pauses, I’m not afraid of the silence. Previously I was thinking, well, you’re supposed to get a laugh, a laugh, a laugh, a laugh…. The storytelling, they’re a lot more lenient about pauses because they want to hear…

Andy Huggins: Oh yeah. It’s a different rhythm and a different…

KiKi Maroon: Different art?

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Different expectations. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. And the more I’ve done that, then when I moved to smaller rooms, I’m able to carry that kind of attitude and that pacing with me. And so it’s really helped me just get to connect with people differently. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Very good, very good. In your burlesque show, like the one you did, this past Saturday… 

KiKi Maroon: Comic Strip! Yes.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Did you do any stand-up? 

KiKi Maroon: I did, I opened…

Andy Huggins: Oh, very good! 

KiKi Maroon: Let me tell you. This is the first time I walked off stage… from the big shows that I’ve done. Usually when I’ve done stand-up, afterwards I’m like, “oh, I didn’t hit this, I didn’t hit that.” You know, how we do.

Andy Huggins: Yeah, yeah.

KiKi Maroon: I walked off stage and I was just like,”that was good.”

Andy Huggins: Oh, good. Good!

KiKi Maroon: And it felt really good. 

Andy Huggins: Good! 

KiKi Maroon: And so, yeah, I watched the video that they sent and I didn’t hate it, which is a huge step for me. 

Andy Huggins: You know, I fought it for a long time. Recording yourself. But, I mean, there’s certain parts – aspects – of what we do, it is a job. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Andy Huggins: And you got to study… 

KiKi Maroon: But it’s so… it hurts, Andy. It hurts to watch it. 

Andy Huggins: Oh, I know very few people that like listening or watching themselves perform. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, God, it hurts so much. But this one, I was okay with it. The only thing that sucks is, we got video for all the comics, because you know, my audience they’re… 

Andy Huggins: They are the best.

KiKi Maroon: Fucking fantastic.

Andy Huggins: They’re the best. 

KiKi Maroon: And so I was like, look, we’re going to get video for all you guys. That way, you have this because you know, you need it for festival submissions and things. And I’m kind of jealous. Because it was a themed show, I was wearing a costume. I’m in a big, puffy, purple dress with a crown. Which I love! It was fantastic. But everybody… all the other comics, you know, they came out in what they wear. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: I love my video. But,  can’t submit that to shit!  I can’t be like, “No, I won’t be dressed as a princess.”

Andy Huggins: Welllll, yeah. Maybe if one day you meet somebody, I mean, you personally know somebody that’s running a festival, they can take that into account. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah ‘just picture this with jeans’.

Andy Huggins: Yeah, you ought to be sophisticated enough as a festival booker…

KiKi Maroon: Maybe we can like, CGI, put some clothes on me.

Andy Huggins: Yeah! 

KiKi Maroon: So I will say, I was pretty excited. So this podcast is coming out.

Andy Huggins: Very good. 

KiKi Maroon: This (Comic Strip) is the first production I’ve done that I do not have a beer or liquor sponsor.

Andy Huggins: Oh! Okay.

KiKi Maroon: Which is part of what is terrifying about this to me. I have not done that. It’s money that I need to pay people. But I feel like it would be kind of weird to try to start this podcast and talk about, you know, sobriety and not drinking and stuff. And then on the side also be like, “but so-and-so is fantastic!” 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Well they’re sponsors, there’s all kinds of sponsors. You can… 

KiKi Maroon: If you can point them to me, I’d appreciate that, Andy. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. It’s part of a transition that I’m excited about, but I’m a little bit afraid of… 

Andy Huggins: You’ll be fine. 

KiKi Maroon: We’ll see. Speaking of transitions, how long ago did you quit drinking? 

Andy Huggins: 30 years ago, this past April. I quit drinking April of ‘88. 

KiKi Maroon: Congratulations! 

Andy Huggins: Thank ya, thank ya! 

KiKi Maroon: Oh my God. That’s… 

Andy Huggins: It’s a long time without a damn drink. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, that’s a really long time.

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: Were you already doing comedy when you quit drinking? 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I started doing comedy in ‘77 and quit drinking in ‘88. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay. So you went a while.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. When I first went out to Los Angeles in ‘77, I knew I had a drinking problem. And so I told myself, he can’t drink. And so for, I don’t know, maybe a year or so, I stuck to that, I didn’t drink. But you know, you’re in clubs and you’re hanging out and… 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, every night.

Andy Huggins: Yeah, eventually I just drifted back into the drinking. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. That’s a long time though. So when you quit then, was it really like… “ Is this going to be different? Is it going to be weird for the shows?”  Did you feel different doing comedy afterwards?

Andy Huggins: Not really, but I do know two great friends, Bill Hicks and Jimmy Pineapple, both felt different on stage sober. I didn’t; I felt a little different off stage. I mean, that was such a part of my identity, that I kind of felt like I was invisible for a while or so, “what am I supposed to do?”

KiKi Maroon: I’m so jealous, because, yeah, I had that. I still remember the first time I went on stage sober. It was because I was legally mandated to. I had a breathalyzer I had to carry around with me and that was not very fun. It was like a briefcase that they gave me while I was on probation. I had to blow into it every, three hours, I think.

Andy Huggins: Yikes!

KiKi Maroon: To make sure that I wasn’t drinking. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. That’s a drag. How long did you have to do it?

KiKi Maroon: Well, here’s the thing about that… So the reason that they gave me the briefcase was because when I had my car accident, flipped the truck in the ditch, went through probation, did all that stuff… I didn’t have a car. So normally what they’ll do is put a breathalyzer in your car, so you can’t drink and drive. 

Andy Huggins: Right. 

KiKi Maroon: If you do not have a car, they don’t want you driving other people’s cars. So they give you… it’s like a briefcase that you carry around with a giant heavy machine in it. 

Andy Huggins: Jesus.

KiKi Maroon: That you have to blow into ALL day. You wake up in the middle of the night to do it. And if you miss a blow, it alerts your probation officer and you can go to jail. It’s a whole process. 

Andy Huggins: I mean, so like if it goes off at four in the morning…

KiKi Maroon: You wake up… 

Andy Huggins: Oh, for Christ’s sake.

KiKi Maroon: But I mean, when are you drinking? 4 o’clock in the morning. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah, yeah…

KiKi Maroon: So yeah, it was really intense. And the anxiety, or what I told myself, was that the anxiety of being afraid I would miss one was so terrifying. It was like this giant thing on my shoulders all the time- that I was going to go to jail if I missed one. I somehow find money for, like, a $500 piece of shit car. They put the car breathalyzer in, so then I can return the suitcase. I parked the car in my yard – never drive it, never have to blow… So guess what? I’m shit-faced all over again. And it’s fine, because I don’t have to blow. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: So yeah. I told myself it was the anxiety, but really, I just wanted to keep drinking and I found a way to keep drinking.

Andy Huggins: Yeah, yeah.

KiKi Maroon: But when I had the suitcase, I was still trying to perform. I had to go on stage, and we even had to time my part in the set list.  I was like, “I’m so sorry. This is very embarrassing. I have to blow where you have me. Can you please move me?”

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: So that was fun. 

Andy Huggins: Yikes.

KiKi Maroon: But yeah, I went on stage sober and I remember being terrified. I was shaking. I hated every minute of it. And the second I got done, I was like, “This is the worst. How does anybody go onstage sober?!” 

Andy Huggins: I bet most comics that quit drinking while they’re in the midst of their career, I bet more of them are like you than me. I bet most, I mean, if they’re alcoholic. My memory is, I didn’t have that problem, but I bet most do. I know, like I said, Jimmy and Bill did. You did. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. Basically. We’re the same. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I don’t…

KiKi Maroon: But do you remember how long Jimmy and Bill were doing comedy at that time? Because you were performing so much longer than me, so you were just more professional by the time you quit.

Andy Huggins: Well, Jimmy began performing ‘76, ‘77. He quit drinking in ‘93, so he had the same amount of experience I did… 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, okay.

Andy Huggins: But so much of Jimmy’s act revolved around being onstage with a Jack Daniels, talking about, you know, a certain lifestyle that he had. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Andy Huggins: Bill quit drinking in ‘88, started performing when he was 16, which means about ‘77

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, but he didn’t drink at first, right? Wait, so you’re in his documentary. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: What was it called?

Andy Huggins: “American” 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. So you were in that. I watched it and they said that he didn’t drink at all in the beginning. 

Andy Huggins: No, he didn’t. I think he started drinking about ‘83. I think he drank for about 5 years. He crammed about 20 years of drinking into 5 years. And yeah. So if my math is correct, he went about six years performing sober, then started drinking, drank for about 5 years, got sober, and his last 6 years were sober. 

KiKi Maroon: Wow. That’s intense. Did you tell me that you went to an AA meeting? Was it your first AA meeting or… Bill took you to an AA meeting? Or was it vice versa? 

Andy Huggins: When I quit drinking in ‘88, Bill had quit in February of ‘88. I quit in April. We started going to meetings in downtown Houston together. He didn’t take me to my first one. That was another friend. But we were still both living in the Houston House and we’d walk to meetings. There was one in particular we’d go to.

KiKi Maroon: So what made you decide to quit drinking? Was it just being around other sober friends?

Andy Huggins: You know, I had just got back from a couple of weeks on the road. I had some money – not a lot – but I had some money. We got back into town, me and the comic I was working with. Got back into town Sunday morning, started drinking during the day, woke up Monday morning and had like $20, after 2 weeks on the road. I just woke up and I just… The big book in AA uses the phrase “bankrupt” to refer to a certain emotion… and I was.  I had nothing left. I was tired of not knowing what happened the night before. I was tired of calling people up and trying to figure out what happened the night before. I was tired of feeling physically like I was. And not too long before that, I remember I was at the Houston House, getting ready to go out. I didn’t want to drink, but I knew I was going to.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Andy Huggins: I thought “this is like, I got a job I hate!” That was what drinking became. And for whatever odd reason, I assumed that I was going to be drinking the rest of my life. And at one point, I acknowledged to myself, “okay, you’re a drunk. You’re just going to have to figure out a way to work around it.” 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Andy Huggins: I mean, I never kidded myself that I didn’t have a problem. But for some reason that morning, I had nothing left. I was empty. Empty. So I went to a meeting that day and it immediately felt okay. It immediately felt like the right road. 

KiKi Maroon: Where you’re supposed to be.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. And I was relieved.I just woke up one morning,b”I can’t do this bullshit anymore.” It’s just exhausting. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. I didn’t know, even after the accident – especially after the accident! I didn’t think I had a problem at all. I was just like, “No, the law just doesn’t understand me!”

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: But I do remember waking up just pretty much every morning for a good while, we’ll say a year, just completely exhausted, completely hung over. My hangovers would last until 5, 6 o’clock in the evening.

Andy Huggins: I stopped getting hangovers, but I’d be so fucking dehydrated – it was physical. When I quit drinking, both Jack Daniels and Gatorade took just a severe hit. Financially. 

KiKi Maroon: We say Uber took a hit when I quit!

Andy Huggins: Oh yeah.

KiKi Maroon: My hangovers got super intense. And the more I drank, the stronger my tolerance got. And you know some of the people I hang out with. I am a 120-pound – maybe? – woman. And I was drinking with 250-pound men and keeping up with them, shot for shot. And I have a different metabolism. So I would wake up every morning feeling like I was going to die.  Just in pain and I’m fetal. And I’m trying to throw up or I am throwing up… 

Andy Huggins: Ohh the worst, the worst.

KiKi Maroon: And it’s just… I can’t function. Then of course, you’re foggy, your head is banging, the whole thing. I would feel like I need to go to a hospital and just lay there and accept, “Okay, this will go away in seven hours”. And that’s when I would say, “Okay, today I’m not drinking. Just today.”  

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: And two hours later, I would get a phone call or a text. And I’m like, “well, I feel better now.” And so I just didn’t think I had a problem for a long time, because every day started with, “Well, today I’ll try.” 

Andy Huggins: Yeah, yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, you get to that breaking point where you’re like, “I’m exhausted”.

Andy Huggins: As a comic, the hangovers were worse than the being drunk, kind of. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, yeah. I couldn’t do shit!

Andy Huggins: You cannot do shit. You can’t write. That was the biggest. That was one reason at one point in my act, I started doing what they call “crowd work.” We used to call it,  back in my day, “fucking with the crowd.” The more sophisticated generation today, they call it “crowd work”. But that’s one reason I started. Because I just stopped writing.. I couldn’t write anymore. I just didn’t have the energy or the focus to write in the morning. And I got bored with my acts, so  I started talking to the crowd more.

KiKi Maroon: I feel like a lot of people do that, but they’re not honest with themselves that that’s what’s going on. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. You know, to get off topic, alcohol aside for a second, fucking with the crowd is easier than writing. It’s just easier. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh yeah.

Andy Huggins: And it doesn’t mean it can’t be quality. It doesn’t mean it can’t be real funny. It doesn’t mean that it’s not a good tool to have. I think it’s overrated as a tool, but it’s a good tool to have. But it’s just easier. Audiences grade on a huge curve when they know you’re ad-libbing, or when they think you’re ad-libbing. A lot of times you’re not ad-libbing, you’re doing something you ad-libbed before. 

KiKi Maroon: Every night.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. But like if you ad-lib an okay line, you’re going to get a good laugh. And if you ad-lib a good line, you’re going to get a great laugh. And if you ad-lib a great line, you’d might want to consider saying goodnight and… 

KiKi Maroon: Walking off stage?

Andy Huggins: Ha, yeah. Because you’re not going to top it. Writing is more difficult. And I think that’s probably why a lot of people do it… it’s just easier. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, that’s what got me into comedy. I didn’t know I was doing crowd work. I was hosting the burlesque shows. And in between, we’ve got to just kill time while we’re picking up the clothes or whatever’s going on. And so I would go out there and just fuck with the audience. And I loved it. I loved it so much. And like you said, I was getting laughs, so I think I’m hilarious! So, actually Danny Rios (a mutual friend) is who invited me to my first open mic. He was going out to Sherlock’s and invited a whole bunch of the burlesque girls. It was just so much fun. I went and I was like, “this is the best thing in the world! I had no idea this existed!”  I’d only seen comedy on TV, I didn’t know there was local comedy. I didn’t know what an open mic was. It was amazing. So I started going, I would go twice a week, because they did a Sunday showcase too. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: And Monday open mic. I went twice a week, every week for months. It took me forever to go up. John Wessling (comedian) used to come up to me and be like, “hey kid, when are you going up?” And I’d go, “I don’t want to go up. I’m just supporting”. And he was like, “you’re not supporting, you’ve seen the same fucking comics say the same jokes for six months. You want to go up.” It took me a long time to realize I was there because I was scared to go up. I was watching what they were doing. And I was like, “this is what I do! I can do this!”

Andy Huggins: Yeah, yeah.

KiKi Maroon: And of course, the first time I went up, I was shit-faced. They had $2 shots of Jameson… 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: So I was gone. I finally got the nerve to go up there. I don’t remember it at all. I know vaguely what story I intended to tell. But I finally went up and I was like, “okay, this is what I’ve been wanting to do. This is kind of what I’m doing for the burlesque shows.”

Andy Huggins: When I first started, I knew I can’t be drinking and doing stuff… I knew…

KiKi Maroon: I would love to have had that knowledge.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I knew that was a bad idea. But you know, then the addiction kicked in, so…

KiKi Maroon: Well, the lifestyle is so much a part of it. And it’s fantastic that you had Jimmy and Bill to see other people that were sober. That is amazing to me. I know I’ve told you this before- you were the only sober person I’d ever met. I didn’t know that it was an option to be sober. And while I love you so much, Andy,  I was a 20-something-year-old stripping clown. I didn’t find you to be relatable to me. So it was like, “of course Andy can be sober. I can’t.” So, I’m quite jealous that you had people to look at and see that that was a possibility. And that’s what I’m hoping to do with this podcast, to show other people that. 

Andy Huggins: Good, good.

KiKi Maroon: You said “the day” that you quit. I have found that many people have… multiple “rock bottoms” on their way. Did you have accidents or run into the cops?

Andy Huggins: Oh, yeah. I got arrested for drunk driving once. One time, I guess this qualifies as a drunken humblebrag or a humble drunken-brag… But one time, I got to open at Rockefeller’s for Ray Charles.

KiKi Maroon: Oh, my God. 

Andy Huggins: I killed it! Killed it! He was doing two shows… I did the first show, Jimmy was going to do the second. After the first show, his manager came up to me and said, “Ray Charles loves your act. He wants to meet you. But it has to be after the second show.” Ray Charles!  The first album I ever bought in my life was Ray Charles!

KiKi Maroon: Really? 

Andy Huggins: Yeah, he’s a genius. He was Ray Charles, for God’s sake. So I’m at Rockefeller’s and I tell myself, “Okay, I can go back to the Comedy Workshop and drink cheaper than I can at Rockefeller’s.” I wasn’t getting free drinks at Rockefeller’s. So I think, “Okay, I’ll take a cab back to the Workshop, not that far from Rockefeller’s. I’ll have a couple of drinks there and come back and I’ll meet Ray Charles.” Well, you know what happened, or what didn’t happen. Now if Ray Charles meant to you, what he meant to me…

KiKi Maroon: Did you black out?

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I did at some point, I just lost track of… 

KiKi Maroon: Oh my God. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. And he wanted to meet you! This wasn’t a case of me bugging his manager, saying, “Hey, is it okay if I come back here?” 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Andy Huggins: No, he came out and found me at the bar and said, “Ray Charles loves what you do.” 

KiKi Maroon: That’s… crazy…

Andy Huggins: They cut this scene out of his movie, I’m sure.

KiKi Maroon: Oh my God. Yeah, I would love for this to be one of the stories Ray tells people – “I always wanted to meet this guy.” 

Andy Huggins: “Yeah. He was so funny.” 

KiKi Maroon: “He just disappeared out of my life.”

Andy Huggins: “Drunken asshole. I was looking for an opening act.”

KiKi Maroon: Oh my God.

Andy Huggins: So who wouldn’t quit after that?! Who wouldn’t be so embarrassed and humiliated? I also drove drunk a lot. Got in a wreck one time and was arrested.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. For a while, I wondered if it was a Texas thing. Because I would go and visit people up North and get totally shit-faced with them as well. And drunk driving just wasn’t a thing. It was very looked down upon. I feel like around here, it’s very, very common. You just choose who is the best drunk driver, which was usually me. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: “Who is the best drunk driver?!”  They’re the ones that can take everybody around. I remember I was talking to this guy that was from somewhere in Europe. And he said something about how he couldn’t drive out to meet us at a party because he had already had one beer. And we were, laughing, like “fucking pussy, you had ONE beer.” But that’s not a thing to him. He was like, “No, why would I drive? I had a beer.” 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: I drove blackout more times than I can remember. I thank God I didn’t kill somebody. I don’t know how, honestly. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I don’t either. And of course, you do it once, you think you can do it the second time. And every drunk driver will tell you, “people shouldn’t drive drunk-

KiKi Maroon: Oh, yeah. 

Andy Huggins: – BUT ME!”

KiKi Maroon: “I’m good at it though!”

Andy Huggins: “I’m good at it!” It’s like people that drive and text. “People shouldn’t drive and text, but I can do it”. 

KiKi Maroon: I still do that. I shouldn’t do that.

Andy Huggins: Yeah, every drunk will tell you, “I’m the exception.” 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Andy Huggins: “That asshole over there can’t drive drunk! Take the keys away from him and give them to me!”

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. I know. I can remember driving and covering one eye, because of the double vision. It’s like, “if I just keep one eye covered, I can really see the road!”

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: And this was just normal. 

Andy Huggins:  And it doesn’t occur to any of us- that’s literally insane. That’s literally insane thinking. That’s not just bad logic, it has nothing to do with logic. It is insane. And yet, you know, that’s the addiction. That’s the drunkenness. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. There is no logic when you’re in the moment. 

Andy Huggins: That anybody- we could simplify it even more- that anybody would ever experience a hangover and then deliberately go out and…

KiKi Maroon: You’re poisoned. That’s what’s crazy. Your body is responding to you poisoning yourself. 

Andy Huggins: If you’ve ever had a first-rate hangover, you would think, Okay, “I know why I feel this way. I know exactly why I feel this way. We don’t have eight different suspects.”

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. “Maybe it was the sushi!”

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Maybe iit was too hot out yesterday and I got overheated. No. If you ever have experienced a hangover, why would you do it again? And yet, we do. And it’s insane.

KiKi Maroon: So I’ve been going to therapy. 

Andy Huggins: Good. 

KiKi Maroon: It’s very exciting to me. I think it’s been eight or nine months. I love it. I love it so much. There’s a lot  I’m learning about myself. I’m like, “ohhh, that’s why I’m psycho about that one thing, it’s really the thing from 20 years ago” or whatever. It’s fascinating to me. I think everybody should do it. 

Andy Huggins: I think so. Yeah. Everybody should. Even if you function well. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, absolutely. 

Andy Huggins: In life, it doesn’t matter, nobody is completely free and clear. 

KiKi Maroon: Nobody’s fixed. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. There’s some bullshit. And just out of an intellectual curiosity.

KiKi Maroon: That’s what it is. I’m learning. It’s not like I’m in the room and suddenly she fixes something. She doesn’t shake something over me and I’m done. But, I find that my brain just works differently. Whatever emotion I have… I’m not a slave to the emotion. I’m like, “Wait, I felt that way because of this thing, and I’m responding because of this”. I can break down my responses and then make a decision about whether or not I want to feel that way. So it’s pretty empowering. Do I want to be angry or not? Maybe I don’t.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I should go to therapy myself. There are a couple of… there’s one real nagging aspect of my life that turns up in dreams for instance…

KiKi Maroon: Oh, that’s a sign, that’s a huge sign.

Andy Huggins: Constantly. And I’ve thought about it, and I’ve pinpointed a moment in my past. I said, “could that possibly have had that big of an effect on me?”  I would like to know. 

KiKi Maroon: I’m going to ask you… What’s the thing? 

Andy Huggins: I feel an enormous amount of guilt, for no reason at all. I have so many dreams where… the dream starts with me feeling guilty and I don’t know where that comes from. Why? And I’ve gotten a little better about it but, I could be sitting in a restaurant by myself, reading a newspaper, and if two people who I’d never met before eight tables down get in an argument, I’m going to figure out – “what did I do?”  I am going to blame myself somehow.

KiKi Maroon: That’s really interesting.

Andy Huggins: I just grab a hold of guilt for some reason. And I’m not sure why… And I recognize that I’m out of line quite often and so I, you know, I’ve made some adjustments. I’m not a slave to it, it doesn’t overwhelm me. But boy, it sure makes dreams tiresome though. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. I would imagine. Emotions are so much more intense in dreams. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. And it’s always something. You know, I never have a dream where I’m drinking. I have dreams where I had been drinking. I’m the only one that knows about it. And I feel guilty as hell about it. And it always starts with… 

KiKi Maroon: It’s after the fact? Not even the fun part?

Andy Huggins: Yeah. So I have that dream quite often. I don’t know that I’ve ever had… In 30 years, I’m not sure I’ve ever had a dream where I was drinking. 

KiKi Maroon: Wow. 

Andy Huggins: That might not be true, because I dream a lot. I’d dream about two or three dreams a night. And I wake up and I remember both of them, maybe sometimes all three. Until about four hours later. Then I can’t remember. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay. A question I like to ask people – are your dreams in first or third person? 

Andy Huggins: I can see me. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay. That’s how mine are too. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I can see me.

KiKi Maroon: I thought everybody’s were like ours. But it’s about half and half. 

Andy Huggins: Really?

KiKi Maroon: I think it’s so fascinating. Some people were like, “what do you mean third person? No, it’s my dream. I’m seeing it.”  I’m like, “No, I’m watching it like a movie.”

Andy Huggins: Yeah, me too. Absolutely. I bet there probably has been a first person narrative to the dream before, but no, I can always see myself… Now here’s a question – when somebody is in your dream that you know, do they look like themselves? 

KiKi Maroon: I rarely have dreams with people I know. Even further – I’m rarely in my own dreams. They are more like movies that I’m watching. And when I am in them, I see myself, and sometimes there’ll be stand-ins. Where I was talking to Andy, but it wasn’t Andy, it was so-and-so. But often, I’m not even in my own dreams. 

Andy Huggins: I’m in every dream. And I know everybody in my dreams. Every once in a while, a stranger will appear, but people will… I mean, it’ll be like, a sister. I know what my sister looks like. And I know that’s sister Caroline… but she doesn’t look anything like Caroline. 

KiKi Maroon: Does that look like a stranger? Or is it Caroline, but she looks like Aunt So-and-so? 

Andy Huggins: No, it looks like a stranger. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, wow.

Andy Huggins: And I’ve always been fascinated. Why that would be, if it is people you know?

KiKi Maroon: Like, how’s your brain putting together other people?

Andy Huggins: Yeah. There might be an interesting answer to that. I don’t know…

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, I’m sure there is. It’s funny that you used that dream as an example, the guilt of drinking dream. Because that’s what I was thinking about as you were saying that. You said earlier that part of quitting was having to wake up, make the phone calls, find out “what did I do?” I’m not a licensed therapist – want to put a little disclaimer! But you have the feelings of guilt, but you don’t have the answers for the things that happened. So maybe they’re just forever weighing on you. Just this feeling of, “surely I did something. “ And you can’t process what the thing is. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: You never get rid of it. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I… absolutely. I always took responsibility in my own mind about how I behaved.

KiKi Maroon: Oh, what’s that like? 

Andy Huggins: I wasn’t… The thing about drunks in clubs that really pissed me off, I know some of those people are going to get up the next morning, and it’s not going to be their fault.

KiKi Maroon: No, no no.

Andy Huggins: They are going to blame the comic, or the club, or the bouncer who… 

KiKi Maroon: Even if they do know it, it’s like, “but I was drunk. It doesn’t count”. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I was never that, I’d wake up and I’d be ashamed. I’ve spent a lot of mornings ashamed. In fact, Lord, I don’t like this, but what are you going to do? Every once in a while, a memory of something will pop in my head and I’ll be ashamed. “I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have said that.”

KiKi Maroon: When that happens, do you say it out loud?! 

Andy Huggins: I will curse myself or I’ll go, “damn it!”

KiKi Maroon: Yes! I do that too. I’m just walking and a memory pops up, and I go, “NOOOO!” 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. All the time. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, I have that same feeling when I think about my first sets on stage. Just out of nowhere, I’m walking, walking, remember what it was like being up there… And I’m like, “Oh! Noooooo.” 

Andy Huggins: I’ve had sets that were so bad. One time, I was still drinking, in Nebraska maybe? The second show Friday, I went onstage drunk. I woke up the next morning – NO memory…

KiKi Maroon: Of the time onstage?

Andy Huggins: Yeah. And I thought, “oh my God, it had to be horrible.”  And I spent the whole day waiting for the phone to ring, to fire me. How can you not? 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Andy Huggins: Never rang. So, “okay. They’re going to fire me at the club.” So I got down there. They didn’t. Nobody said anything. The other two comics never said anything. To this day, KiKi, I don’t know what the hell happened onstage. It couldn’t have been good! 

KiKi Maroon: I mean, it couldn’t have been that bad though.

Andy Huggins: I guess not.

KiKi Maroon: You would have heard it. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah, you would think, but that memory will pop into my head…

KiKi Maroon: Ugh, God.

Andy Huggins: And I just hate it. I just hate it. I have memories of bad shows that have nothing to do with being drunk, just bad shows. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. Just bad shows.

Andy Huggins: They’ll pop into my head, and I’ll curse. 

KiKi Maroon: So my first?… Maybe second time on the Outlaw Dave show.  I was so nervous, because, “oh my God – radio!” Now I’m like, “eh, whatever!”. But  I was so nervous. I remember- I drank while I was getting ready. I took a beer with me in the car so I would have one when I got there. Parked in the lot and chugged the beer before I went up. I didn’t know when I got there, they were going to put me in a green room. And this was like “the party radio show”. So they put me in the green room and asked “hey, do you want a shot while you wait? So they give me a beer; they’re giving me shots”. By the time I started the show, I was already, I don’t know, nine drinks? I remembered being introduced. And then it’s all black.

Andy Huggins: Yikes. 

KiKi Maroon: The entire show is blackout. I don’t know what I said. I don’t know what I did. I do remember leaving, driving myself home, of course. I got lost in some neighborhood out by the Galleria. I pulled my car over, peed in a stranger’s yard, because I thought it was safer than trying to go into a gas station where something might happen to me.

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: Peed in a stranger’s yard, made my way back home. And then I got the email the next day, “here’s your interview!” Because they have the MP3s. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: I listened and it was so bad. I’m slurring. I’m stumbling around. Not making sense – at all. It’s complete nonsense. And I was listening, just hating every bit of it. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: And… yeesh… things are all video now! That (the radio recording) exists, unfortunately. But people weren’t as camera-happy as they are now. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: When I was in my blackout phase. I would HATE now, with everybody recording video of everything.

Andy Huggins: Oh, Lord.

KiKi Maroon: To have to look at that. Dear God, no. 

Andy Huggins: Oh, yeah. I’m thankful that the internet didn’t exist. I have a joke “back when I was drinking, there was no area code. Those extra three numbers would’ve fucked me up”. No Caller ID – that was the other thing, when I was drinking. And I am half-convinced it was a drunk’s wife that came up with the idea of Caller ID. What a great step forward in technology though. If you’re involved with a drunk, Caller ID is the greatest thing in the world.

KiKi Maroon: So we keep talking about signs. Things that should have been a sign to quit. There was a good while where my password, before they had the fingerprints, when you had to type in a phrase. My password for my phone was “Are you drunk?” 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: Because every morning, I would wake up and look at texts that I had sent out to boys, or Facebooked a picture, or something. I’d wake up the next day, just mortified. But instead of quitting the drinking, I tried to quit the phone. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. When I quit, my attitude wasn’t… I didn’t set up a battle. It wasn’t like “I want to keep drinking, but I know I can’t, so I’m going to do these things to keep me from drinking”. My attitude when I quit was, “I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t do it anymore”.  I did not want to drink anymore. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah.

Andy Huggins: So I was kind of lucky that way. I think some people… it’s like trying to quit cigarettes… trying to quit anything… when you really don’t want to. Because then every waking moment is a battle. 

KiKi Maroon: You’re thinking about it.

Andy Huggins: Yeah, it’s a battle and you can’t do that. Every waking moment. It’s exhausting. You’d just give in. So I was lucky that way. So between AA, which was very reassuring, and just to be around…

KiKi Maroon: Other people.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. And along with your audiences, AA audiences are the best, the absolute best. They’re just very understanding, accepting, not at all judgmental. They don’t look at you sideways, like you’re a big fuck-up. Because we’re all big fuck-ups, so nobody’s a fuck-up. But yeah, it was quite revealing, you know. I’m going there with Bill, in downtown Houston at noon, and a lot of businessmen there. Bill and I were…  he was in his late twenties. I was in my late thirties. And we’re listening to 50- or 60-year-old business men, bankers, talk about the exact same things. “Hey, we’re artists! We’re unique!” Well, maybe not so much. I remember our buddy Steve Epstein, when he heard that we were going to meetings together, he said, “y’all must be the real stars of the meetings with the stories you have.”

Not even close, Steve! Not even close! I mean, what? You got drunk, and you said something rude to a waitress, or you woke up on a strange couch? Okay, now (we’re listening to these) people losing homes, their families, waking up in bed with three quarters of the California Angel outfield. You know, just spectacular stories. You kind of make a connection with humanity when you see that we’re all …You’re no better than the banker. The banker’s no better than you. We’re all at the same unhappy, struggling level. Nobody wants to be unhappy. Nobody wants to make other people unhappy. And that’s the struggle. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. So, I didn’t go to AA. I just started, maybe 10 months ago or something. And I’m almost three years in. So I didn’t go to AA at first. I was one of those people, “I don’t need meetings. I don’t want to hear about God!” and all that stuff I think a lot of people have. Especially when they’re first thinking about not drinking. There’s a lot of assumptions about what AA is, I think. And since starting this podcast and recording with more people, I’ve learned about a lot of different programs, which I’m very excited to share with people if they’re not interested in AA. But I will say, I love the meetings now. And I feel like it sounds so cheesy to say “I love AA”, but I do.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: And I think what you’re talking about, the connection to humanity is what it is.  I have this problem being told what to do. I’m very, very bad at that. And I will rebel by doing the complete opposite, which has gotten me in a lot of trouble. But I’m working on it in therapy. So that was my thinking, that it was going to be a bunch of rules trying to tell me how to live my life. When I got there, I realized that I loved it, because it was just a bunch of people telling their stories. And I love storytelling. Even when I’m not doing it, I like going to the storytelling shows because I like hearing what other people are going through. What they’ve gone through, what they’ve learned. I like having that connection with somebody else. And to go to AA and to hear 2 people, or 20 people, that all can say, “yes, I went through this, this is my hard time, this is my good time, this is how I overcame it”

 I am so inspired leaving that place. And even if people are still in the middle of the bullshit, I like to be able to talk to those people and be like, “no I get it. This is step one.  You’re going to be so wonderful after this.” I love it. 

Andy Huggins: I loved listening to women’s stories because, growing up – I was born in 1950 – you know, women in society had to behave a certain way. 

KiKi Maroon: Absolutely. 

Andy Huggins: They couldn’t be out, going like men… women didn’t get drunk in public. 

KiKi Maroon: I did not think about that. 

Andy Huggins: No, it just wasn’t done. And of course, a lot of spectacular exceptions to the rule, but boy! You want to become a leper real quickly, be a woman in 1961 who gets drunk in public. Holy mackerel!

KiKi Maroon: I have not ever thought of that.

Andy Huggins: But there was a lot of secret drinking. This is a great way society has progressed, the human race has progressed. We’re not locked into so many stereotypes anymore – men have to behave this way, women have to behave this way. So women, we were not always aware of the shit they’re going through. And I’m speaking in the past tense because when I first started… it was just always fascinating to me to listen to women talk about being an alcoholic, because they weren’t allowed to be an alcoholic, like a lot of men were allowed to be alcoholic. They had to drink secretly. 

KiKi Maroon: Then you can only get help secretly.Andy Hug

gins: Yeah. If you got it at all. So yeah, I was always… You know, and as an alcoholic hanging out with other drunks, I kind of knew what guys were going through. This, and that, and the other. I didn’t have that same sort of intimate knowledge of what women who were alcoholics were going through. That’s just not something women did. You weren’t a heavy drinker, like guys were heavy drinkers. You had to do it on the fly. So it’s interesting for me to listen to women of a certain generation talk about their problems, because it was hidden.

KiKi Maroon: I’ve not thought about that. That is so interesting to me. I love at the meetings, meeting older women that have gone through it, because I just connect. The ones that I’ve met so far, they’ll walk in and they just don’t give a fuck about anything. And that makes sense, if they went through that time with all those problems. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah, like “I’m free!”

KiKi Maroon: They are so free. The happiest, just love everybody. Bust in  ready to help everybody around them.

Andy Huggins: Yeah, guys, I guess we could go whine to our bartender about our problems. “This is why I drink”… I don’t know that women had that option. You couldn’t just sit at a bar.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, just at home.

Andy Huggins: Now it has changed. I remember at Sherlock’s, and I hadn’t been doing comedy for a while, and I went to Sherlock’s to get back into it. And I’m kind of taking everything in, with the servers and the comics, waiting to go on. And I thought, “When did women get loud? When did this happen?” It changed. Women now, I think feel free…

KiKi Maroon: Hahahahaha! Oh my god, they are the loudest! 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. They feel freer to drink heavy in public…

KiKi Maroon: Oh yes, the “WOO Girls” at comedy clubs. “Woooooo!”

Andy Huggins: Oh yeah. Oh God. I hate that sound.. More than anything else. But I did a little bit of research, not great, but I went on the internet, and drinking women from 17 to 37 has increased among that range. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, I’m sure. 

Andy Huggins: I remember one quote I read from a doctor saying, “Women drink like men now.” 

KiKi Maroon: Oh, absolutely. 

Andy Huggins: And that’s not a good thing. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. And as you’re saying this, I’m wondering how much of it has to do with the subconscious, the idea of equality. Like, “they got to do this, so I’m going to do this!” Like I told you, I was going shot for shot with the men around me. Because “fuck it, I’m here too. I’m a comedian too. I’m a performer too.” And my body could not process it the same way. But there was that just need to show, “No, I am big enough.” I imagine, that has part to do with it. I also would think I was reading something about the “mommy wine culture”. It’s just very joked about, very accepted – that being a mother in today’s age is very difficult. You are expected to be a mom, and have a full-time job, and do all the Pinterest stuff, be the best at PTA, all those things.

Andy Huggins: And a wife.

KiKi Maroon: And a wife and take care of everything. And so there’s this idea of, “Well, I NEED my bottle of wine.” So the women can gather, they can drink their wine, they can bitch about how hard life is. And so it’s creating this culture of alcoholic mothers, because they’re “allowed” this, you know, “I deserve this after everything, I deserve my bottle of wine a day. “

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: And it’s interesting… it’s causing a lot of problems that you can’t say, “Well, no. Fuck you – don’t tell me no.”

Andy Huggins: When I first started, I went out to Los Angeles to do stand-up at the Comedy Store. All kinds of female comics around. Female servers, female audience members, girlfriends, wives. And I don’t remember loud female drunks. I don’t remember female drunks. They didn’t drink like the guy comics did. I’m guessing a couple of them went home and did a little bit of drinking. But yeah, it’s changed. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. That’s fascinating. I never thought about that. 

Andy Huggins: Those are great movies, women in the fifties, you know, the role they played. Y’all had it difficult. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh yeah.

Andy Huggins: Women had it difficult, since forever. 

KiKi Maroon: I just watched a documentary on Mae West, who is just so incredible. And  I don’t remember the exact numbers, but it was something where the studio that was courting her really, really wanted her. She was already a big deal by then. She’d done all of her cabaret shows and had written several movies under a different name, a man’s name, so she could sell the scripts. Because under her name, they wouldn’t talk to her. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: So they were courting her and she asked,”Who is the highest paid employee there?” And they were like, well, the president, he makes, we’ll say $50,000 a year. I don’t remember the number. And she said, “okay, I’ll come if I can get $50,001”. And they signed her.

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: She drank. She was trying to be one of the boys. She was trying to sit at the table and say, “no, I’m going to do it”. And it was part of being at the table. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: Okay. You mentioned Comedy Store. I liked to see your name up there and brag. I’m like, “That’s Aaaandy!” How do they choose whose names did they put up? I know you are obviously like, a LEGEND, but what was the process like? Did they ask “hey, they want to put your name up here?” Do you just walk up and it was there one day?

Andy Huggins: Just went up there one day and then there it was. I don’t know how, I don’t know if it was totally on Mitzi’s whim. I don’t know if they were doing it once a month, once a year?

KiKi Maroon: You just showed up and your name was there?!

Andy Huggins: Yeah, there it was. They didn’t ask me, and I don’t know why you would necessarily ask. Who wouldn’t want their name up there? But, yeah, I had no idea that…

KiKi Maroon: I thought maybe there was a process to it…

Andy Huggins: A ceremony? 

KiKi Maroon: At least like a, “hey, congratulations!”

Andy Huggins: Nope. Nobody called me up and said, “hey, check the wall.”

KiKi Maroon: That’s so funny.

Andy Huggins: So yeah. It’s nice. Whenever one of the Houston folks get out to the Comedy Store, they always…

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. They always take a picture. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. It’s like a pilgrimage and I hesitate…I’d never tell them, I probably shouldn’t say it now – it’s not that big a deal.

KiKi Maroon: Hahaha I mean, but it is!

Andy Huggins: Well, it is and it isn’t.

KiKi Maroon: It’s not to you, but it is to – like you said – the Houston comics that go up there. When you go to LA you’re having a, “this is it. This is where it happens” kind of feeling. And to see somebody you know up there, it’s like, “okay!  I can do that. I know someone!” You make it real. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Good. They didn’t tell me, they didn’t… I’m guessing again, it was just on Mitzi’s whim, from one of her assistants saying, “hey It’s time we put some more names up there. Who do you like?” 

KiKi Maroon: Well, she liked ya. 

Andy Huggins: It could have been just one of the assistants. That they didn’t even bother Mitzi with it. Who knows?

KiKi Maroon: I’m going to say… that they chose names out of a hat filled with only, the most talented, wonderful people in there and your name popped up. 

Andy Huggins: Well, we’ll go with that. I’ll go with that. 

KiKi Maroon: Okay. I know we can’t talk about some of the “America’s Got Talent” stuff. But where can people find you? I know your album’s online. They can buy that.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. It’s called “Inspired by True Events,” it’s on CD Baby and iTunes. I’m on Facebook, Andy Huggins Facebook. @HugginsComedy* is my Twitter. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, I saw you. You were live-tweeting during your  ”America’s Got Talent” episode

Andy Huggins: Yeah, then I got bored with it. 

KiKi Maroon: Well, it was funny while it lasted. 

Andy Huggins: The show asked me to live-tweet, because otherwise I wouldn’t have.

KiKi Maroon: Oh, that makes sense. I just thought you were excited. 

Andy Huggins: No, I was excited, but I mean, what do you live-tweet? I didn’t know what to  tweet, “What’s this bullshit?  When am I coming on? I don’t care about some fucking guy on a motorcycle. Where’s me? it’s all about me!”

KiKi Maroon: You should have tweeted that. That would have been great.

Andy Huggins: Actually a couple of things would have been funny, but it might’ve pissed the show off if I’d have done it. But there are a couple. I probably wasn’t enamored of everything I saw that night. But it probably would have been bad form to criticize the show.

KiKi Maroon: Well, I hope that you go back. I know that I saw a couple of comments. Somebody tweeted, “Andy Huggins is a perfect example of why you should never give up on your dreams.” And I thought that was so lovely. She tagged “America’s Got Talent,” so hopefully that’ll get them wanting you back.

Andy Huggins: Aww! Did you see there was one thread where a lady – and she got back-up from a couple other ladies – were, was horrified at my jokes.

KiKi Maroon: Nooo. 

Andy Huggins: Oh yeah. “Ruined family hour. I thought that was supposed to be a family show”.

KiKi Maroon: Nooo. Shut up.

Andy Huggins: Because yeah, I did the one joke that involved the word “orgasm.” Now, what’s funny about that is, the show asked for that! The show asked for three jokes in particular.

KiKi Maroon: They saw your set and then they pulled out…

Andy Huggins: Yeah. We had one group of jokes picked out. Then they decided, “no, we wanted the more sexually-oriented jokes”. So, that was one of the ones they wanted me to do. And I specifically asked him, I said, “Okay, y’all have told me this was a family hour. Can I say that?” They said, “Yeah, say it and if it’s a problem, we’ll bleep it.”

KiKi Maroon: You’re saying “orgasm,” not like “jizz” or something…

Andy Huggins: Yeah, they ought to be lucky I didn’t act it out! I’m not one of those comics that acts out the punchline, so be grateful. But one lady tweeted, “I had to fast forward because my son was in the room.” 

KiKi Maroon: Oh my God.

Andy Huggins: So there was that. But between that and people just blasting Mel B,  every once in a while, there was a compliment for me. But mostly, it was blasting Mel B. 

KiKi Maroon: You’re so controversial, Andy. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. I know. I’m the last person in the world you would have expected to wreck family hour. 

KiKi Maroon: Oh my God. That’s so funny. Okay. So, we’re at our final question. I’m doing my final ask. New podcast, still working it out. We’ll see how this goes. 

Andy Huggins: Okay. 

KiKi Maroon: Final question is – if you could snap your fingers and everyone around the world would instantly believe two things, what would they be and why? But there is like one little caveat. One has to be for the good of humanity and one has to be completely self-serving.

Andy Huggins: I believe in the golden rule. If I could snap my fingers and have everybody believe and accept the golden rule. Of course you do that, and you probably eliminate a lot of human behavior that makes for great comedy. I might be snapping and putting myself out of work. 

KiKi Maroon: I’m going to sound dumb…..Is that the “treat others” one? 

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: Okay I want to make sure.

Andy Huggins: Treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself. I’m not a student of religions, but I’m told every religion has the golden rule in there someplace. “Treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself.” In one form or another.

KiKi Maroon: I can see that. It’s so basic.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. Just do that. Just more kindness in the world. That’d be good. 

KiKi Maroon:  We definitely could use that right now. 

Andy Huggins: And for myself, you know, I wouldn’t object to that rich widow woman. Quite selfishly. You know how much easier and more serene….of course then again, I might be eliminating some of the comedy. I hate to be selfish, but just a couple more bucks a month.

KiKi Maroon: Andy, you’re preaching to the choir right now. 

Andy Huggins: You know, I am so low-maintenance. I don’t need to be filthy rich, but if the premise was to be entirely selfish…

KiKi Maroon: It is to be selfish.

Andy Huggins: Yeah. If I could just take some financial pressure off, it wouldn’t take a lot. 

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. 

Andy Huggins: Karma! If you’re listening.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah, come on, karma!

Andy Huggins: You don’t need to break the bank in order to take care of me.

KiKi Maroon: No, I understand. It’s stress, especially as an artist, the stress of the daily,  how are you going to survive. 

Andy Huggins: Yeah. 

KiKi Maroon: Any time you’re thinking about that, you’re not writing, you’re not being creative, you’re not producing more. And the more you produce, I do think the better the world is off. You know, like you’re making more things for people to connect to. You’re bringing more happiness to the world. You’re doing so much more. 

Andy Huggins: That’s a good trade off.

KiKi Maroon: Yeah. I understand that you do not like to be selfish, but I truly do believe that when people like you are successful, it is good for humanity. 

Andy Huggins: Well, I know I’ll always get the bills covered, but you see you get an email and you click on and there’s a notification from AT&T, “Hey, just letting you know, this month’s bills are ready to be viewed.”

KiKi Maroon: And you’re like, “Damn it!”

Andy Huggins: Here’s my theory. Utility companies, like Reliant for instance, they ought to be like a good bartender. A good bartender, you buy three drinks; they’ll slip you a fourth. I feel like Reliant, you pay your bill three months in a row, slip me the fourth one. Fourth one on the house, come on! 

KiKi Maroon: If you could snap your fingers, we’d make it happen.

Andy Huggins: Yeah.

KiKi Maroon: Thank you so much, Andy. This was an absolute pleasure.

Andy Huggins: Always, KiKi, always. Under any circumstances, always. 

KiKi Maroon: Thank you.

[Theme song: “Last Call’ provided by The Last Domino]

KiKi Maroon: That was Andy Huggins. You heard him – golden rule. Don’t be an asshole! Stop it! I might be talking to myself right now, I don’t know. He’s got a comedy album out, so just search for Andy Huggins on iTunes or CD Baby, it’s called “Inspired by True Events”. Iit is so, so funny. You can also find him on Twitter @HugginsComedy. And hey, if you’re on Twitter, follow me @KiKiMaroon. 

I’m on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter – all @KiKiMaroon. My website is KiKiMaroon.com. If you want just the podcast information, the website is ClownInterrupted.com. And please don’t forget to subscribe and rate this show on iTunes. I have so many episodes coming up with more comedians, burlesquers, writers, dancers, producers, all kinds of stuff.  Everybody has such a unique, terribly perfect story. I can’t explain how much I love getting to sit down with these people and talk to them about this. This is amazing. I love you. Thank you so much for listening and I’ll be back next week.

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